I taste the magic in your smile,
like the whole universe
in a single drop.
You are awe.
-excerpt from There, I Might Find Peace
I looked at the stars last night and saw the making of me. The sky was my own reflection. I remembered that I am the very stars I wish upon, the very earth I walk upon, the very air I breathe. And for that moment, I knew that I am air. I am water. I am gold, silver, salt.
Before I was Leslie, I was out there. Not just in the cosmos, but of the cosmos. The universe itself. I was atoms spread throughout the galaxy, hidden away like treasure in ancient stars built from ancient stars.
I came from burning. From explosions. From the cosmic circle of rebirth, one star leaving its pieces behind for the next to put back together.
With the deepest gratitude, I thanked the call my atoms answered to emerge from the dust that built our planet, to ride on the back of a meteor, to hold on through the earthly circle of rebirth.
I closed my eyes and imagined what it would be like if I could remember it all. Like having a sudden vision of the birth of our sun as I light my children’s birthday candles or the rain shaping the mountains as I wash our dishes after dinner.